to love is to be vulnerable.

 hi again.

so much has happened.  the ranchers and ms nette arrived saturday the 8th. so one of the rancher's dads roast coffee and helped design the next level brewer. when they brought their daughter back, he donated a next level pour over brewer and a bag of coffee. ok. so this girl was so very excited. :) now i have been enjoying pour over like every day of the week! (happy dance)

oct. 10- i got to have therapy with ms. Karma. one thing i worked on is my achiever part. inside you have many parts. it's IFS therapy if you want to learn more about it. :)

after home visit, one of the ranchers wanted to go home and stay home at the winter home visit. i felt hopeless. like if she won't work on her life, then what. i knew i had to talk to her about some letters she wrote that could not be sent. i felt pretty down. i went to my room and read some verses and prayed for God to help me because i just couldn't. she and i went to the front porch for a long while. God was there helping me. she opened up something she hadn't ever talked about. it made me tear up, for what she had to deal with as a little girl. when we went back inside, my heart was light and there WAS hope. God is good. i have to remember it is Him and His timing. that evening we mentors left and went to chick-fil-a:)

oct. 13 & 14- ms katie and ms sharla went to some horse therapy training.

oct 15&16 - i went with some kids from gentry to a wedding in inman. it was very fun to be able to hang out with anna and see where she lives :) i also made a quick stop by my friend karmen's house. it was so fun to catch up for a bit and see her new little one !

oct. 17 - i had off in the morning. did some errands before i would go back on duty. that morning i had to stop at several walmarts to find what i needed for our backpacking trip. was very ready to be done.😐 (yes, we have more than one close. i know it seems crazy for some of you ;) i had alot going on inside that afternoon and evening. i talked to janae for a very long time. then she sent me this.

to be vulnerable is scary. you open yourself up to getting hurt. but i would rather have a full life of loving and caring for people than being lonely. to me, this seems light. 

oct. 19 - ms. katie's family was at the ranch for breakfast which was cool so i could meet them, for she talks about them and i always can tell how much she loves them. i wanted to meet these people that mean so much to her. she left with them for a few days.

oct. 20 - this was the best day. in the morning i got to do therapy with one of the ranchers. in the afternoon while they were doing life skills with ms. judy, ms. sharla helped me work with triz. triz is a horse that just came back to the ranch. something inside of me wanted to work with her. anyway, ms. sharla said that was fine if i switched from toby to triz. i have not been just stoked to work with the horses because i felt lost and didn't know how. ms. sharla took time to help me and teach me some things. i went inside that day and was so very happy. i now can't wait to get back to the ranch and work with her. 🤍

oct. 21 - ms. hannah came to the ranch and we packed for our backpacking trip. 

oct. 22 - 26 - backpacking trip 2022 !

theme verse: have i not commanded thee? be strong and of a good courage, be not afraid or dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest. joshua 1:9

group goal: to respect on another.

my personal goal: to be okay in each situation. it's okay to be messy.

(the color of the leaves was amazing)

                                             
saturday dawned and we got ready to leave on a five day backpacking trip. ms nette, ms. hannah, myself, and the ranchers drove two hours to pruitt trailhead. we hiked around 5 miles. in this 5 miles, we had stops to deal with emotions or just because a break was needed. the first night we bush wacked and set up tents. by the time we set up most of the tents and hiked down to filter water, we got to eat supper in the dark. the next morning, i woke and didn't know if i could go on and deal with the ranchers. the word communication came to me. we discussed it at breakfast. i felt that there was too much communication the first day. a funny thing was that in the morning, our tents were next to sketch. mine was barely standing up. it made me laugh.

the second day day we hiked another 5ish miles and set up camp.  a storm was coming so we stayed at this place for 3 nights. on our hike, we went by an old farmstead. ok. so i was in love. how cool would it be to live on a farmstead. have chickens, goats, a garden. we got to go in and check out the house.

day three. we slept in.  after breakfast we each wrote an essay on how you would feel if someone told you that you were lovable. then we each read ours. in the afternoon, ms nette journaled with the girls and i went with ms. hannah on a walk. we went to the river and went wading so we could see some bluffs. wow. they were beautiful. that evening it started to rain. it rained all night. wow. that was so amazing to lay in my tent and listen to the rain. (this night, we went to bed really early🙊)

one of the ranchers asked for a circle-up. she had gone to the woods to use the bathroom and well, one of the other ranchers had not dug a hole to do her business and it had been stepped in. so we got to discuss using the shovel when you have business to do.

day four. we woke up to it still lightly raining. we took a walk down to the river and looked at the bluffs and just sat by the river. after quiet time, i had the girls collect things from the forest and make a sandtray. that was really cool. (i also did one) we all were very thankful for the fire ms. hannah got going. that evening we stood around the fire and sang. it was so good for the soul. i felt so close to the One who made the stars. one of our ranchers told a story about herself. that was really neat. after the other ranchers went to bed, one of them stayed and talked with me. it was a VERY cold night. 😑

day five. we were up early. packed up camp to start the last hike of our journey. during the night one of the ranchers was kicking the side of her tent because she didn't like the snoring and she couldn't sleep. they aren't allowed to get out of their tent unless they need to use the bathroom. well, she decided to get out of her tent and kicked the other mentor's tent to see if she could stop at least one person from snoring. well. there were problems. ms hannah had gotten up and dealt with the rancher. in the morning, another rancher came to me and asked for a circle-up. at breakfast we talked about the kicking of the tent walls and noises. the rancher that had done it owned up to doing it. then she was told she got to pick up ms. nette's tent since she was disrespectful and kicked the tent. the ranchers did awesome with hiking and not having to stop every little bit. we took a small detour to see a waterfall:) i had challenged one of my girls to ask to stop for a rest because it is very hard for her to ask for help and admit she can't do it. we got home around 6:30.

i came in the door and the table was set very pretty. on the wall was a birthday banner. ms. katie and ms. regina threw a party for me since it was my birthday. i felt very loved. ms. katie gave me a plant.😍 i now need a sophisticated name for her. (you can send me ideas. ha) ms. lora and ms. sharla were there for supper too. ms. regina and ms. katie had made pollo en crema, black beans, and green salad. for dessert, we had a pumpkin dessert. it was all so good ! and i LOVE pumpkin things ... just not pumpkin pie. ha. also, a very happy thing is i got to shower before we had supper. it was much needed and i felt like a new person. i was low on sleep . i laughed alot and was very happy. after supper, i was free to do what i needed to leave for SD. 

it was so lovely to talk with ms. katie. wow. i love her. 

oct 27-30- i spent these days in newell at my friends, tyler&ashley's wedding. tyler is from center and i taught with ashley last year. it was such a lovely weekend being with friends & getting to know some new people too. i got to make her wedding cake. i loved how it turned out. her wedding was at this church that was so very adorable. and well.. her wedding was beautiful.🤍 i am so happy i got to go:)  

well. for now. that is all. thanks for reading. thanks for caring. & please continue to pray. 🤍

xo,

ms. brooke